Excerpt!
“You’re ruined now!” a voice screeches. I lift my head at the inane comment. “What?” My lips are still wet from the kiss, and I still have a painful erection. I don’t appreciate the interruption.
I see Diane, the chaperone, looking incensed in front of us, with a cameraperson and producer standing behind her.
“Right, we’re on a reality show,” I whisper to Naomi.
“Ruined! After all my hard work keeping you virtuous, now you’re ruined!” Diane carries on, adding some dramatic hand gestures and maybe some tears.
Naomi starts giggling next to me, first demurely behind her hand, but then louder as Diane keeps ranting. She sets me off and now we’re both laughing in the face of…whatever this is.
“Why is no one concerned about my virtue, though?” I ask Naomi, sending her into more fits of laughter.
“You’re a man.” Diane pauses the rant to educate me. “And you’ve ruined Naomi!”
I try to defend the lady next to me. And myself. “Ruined seems like a bit of an overreaction for a kiss.”
“A kiss.” Diane sounds as scandalized as if I told her I was getting a hummer on this bench instead of a hot, but still tame, kiss. “Ruined!”
These might be the only words Diane knows now, too shocked at the (fully clothed) debauchery that allegedly happened here.
“All right then. Maybe we should go back to the ball?” I have no idea what it supposed to happen now that I’ve “ruined” a woman, never having done it before. I look at Naomi, hoping she has any idea what we’re supposed to do, but she’s still laughing too hard at the situation to be any help.
I stand up, not worried about my penis, which started softening at the first screech of “ruin.” I extend my arm out to Naomi, who manages to stop laughing enough to take it.
The producer standing next to the camerawoman gives us a thumbs-up and Diane immediately stops crying. Terrifying.
“Great. We’ve got that. We can go back inside, but we’re going to put you two in a sitting room for a few hours. Part of the ruin consequences. We’ll bring you out when it’s time to get in a couple.” The producer indicates we should follow her. “I’m Aiko, by the way. I’ll be producing the both of you.”
“Hi. Nice to meet you,” I say to the East Asian-British woman in front of me. “I don’t usually ruin women in gardens.”
That sets Naomi off again, and I have to half drag her laughing body back inside the house.
What better way to escape reality than going on a reality show that combines The Amazing Race, Love Island, and Pride and Prejudice?
Naomi Richmond is hoping an ocean is far enough away from her overbearing father. She’s chosen London and built a life there with a job she only dislikes about a quarter of the time.
Nate Williams is perfectly happy where he is, and his dissatisfaction with his job is so low it can’t be quantified numerically. Unfortunately, his boss (and Naomi’s father) is asking him to do something that might make him start to hate Mondays: convince Naomi to come home.
Nate arrives in London at the same time Naomi receives an offer that intrigues her as much as Nate does: be on a reality dating show, where the contestants will pretend to be Regency aristocrats eloping to the famed Gretna Green. Nate is sure it’s his job to stop this, but instead, he ends up on the show with her. Now Naomi is trying to make a name for herself while Nate is trying to make sure she doesn’t do anything to embarrass her father, and they’re both trying to fight the attraction they feel for each other. On camera.
Tune in whenever you find this book and watch Nate and Naomi find themselves and each other, on The Road to Gretna!
Author bio:
Suleena Bibra has read romance in one form or another since she could pick her own books. She occasionally branches out to other genres, but really, what’s the point if there’s no kissing? She also loves to laugh, which probably has to do with her dad putting Monty Python on whenever her mom wasn’t looking.
Suleena studied art history in college and loves to travel every opportunity she gets. A bit indecisive, she has worked as a museum intern, lawyer, workers’ compensation adjuster, and private investigator. Author is best, though, so she can continue living out a bunch of other careers without changing out of her pajamas.
Suleena writes RomComs heavy on banter, shenanigans, and aggressive whimsy. She spends the rest of her time annoying her stubborn, but adorable, bulldog (who also doubles as her particularly lazy writing assistant) with her love.
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